Flooding
Spinning? I should have said drowning in self-delusion! One more time I got to the same place. I'm starting to think I've never moved from here and I've been in love with the same person over and over regardless of face and gender. It's the same. I praise myself of being a rational intelligent girl but when it comes to love it seems that my brain drowns in stupidity. I need to fall for the unreachable. Tina was the same thing and the worse part is I still care for her even though she is never there for me. Do I love me so little? I'm pretty much happy with me and what I have accomplished and with the person I'm now. But when love gets in the middle logic and wisdom go on vacations to wonderland! What he did or not isn't important I knew it was going to happen. every time this happens I end up feeling stupid and alone. I hate feeling stupid! But well who cares? Certainly I don't care about myself because I know he'll smile today and hug me and I'll fall for him again... And then he'll turn around and go with her even though he doesn't love her. Then again maybe he does...
2 comments:
HI i can relate to what you have said i have found that true love distorts all and can corupt logic when it is not returned.. and it all falls apart.... now for sometime i have made it no where in life and failed most things i have started becuase of lack of motivation driven mainly from feeling i have no reason to do things anymore... i know how it is to be hurt many times and just keep wanting to go back but now i have finally told myself i wont ever go back no matter how much it burns me from the inside out and how much it may make me suffer i must find ways to move on as hopeless as it feels i fight it every day becuase the feelings just make me shut muy life off basically i stop moving on and more things fall apart well enough of that i dont want to bore you or sound stupid but although our siuations may be differant i understand what you mean and how heartbreaking it is to deal with please excuse my spelling and punctuation never was good with proper typeing/writeing
-Max V.
It doesn't matter how smart we think we are, it doesn't matter if we are part of this new generation of women: independent, self-sufficient, learned, sophisticated, and a lot of etc. We still fall in love as our grandmothers and the grandmothers of our grandmothers, like stupid. That doesn’t change.
My dear Esther, we are in the very same place.
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